This isn't the first time I've been asked this question, and wont be the last. At every gathering, this tenseness looms in everyones minds. In the corner, when the meal is finished, games have been played, and the night is finally winding down, the Big Question will make an appearance. Spoken in hushed whispers, away from the prying ears of those who may not fully understand.
There's a secret language, seemingly only spoken and understood by fellow trans people. Queer History is full of this kind of flagging, used to maintain a semblence of community, and as a form of protection. It gives you an idea of who will will have your back when the time comes, and who to safely confide in. It's in the way we dress, talk, present ourselves to the public. We tend to exist in groups, for safety.
One friend explains they're moving to Seattle. "I can't imagine myself transistioning here and feeling safe. Maybe I'll come back afterwards though." Another has eyes on Minneapolis. "They just have better resources." No matter the destination, there's one shared reason. They feel alone, scared, and unaccepted for who they are. Eventually the question comes around to me.